Thanks to nothing but a box of Pup Corn and a sizeable, moist drool towel, football gained its two newest armchair prognosticators, but here's the catch: these ones aren't supposed to go on the furniture.
Cooper, a five year-old Great Pyrenees-Lab mix and his new kid sister Izzy, a nine-month old Saint Bernard-Golden Retriever mix (however that happened) have the misfortune of living with a football crazed master, meaning this fall, they're getting put to work. With two outstretched hands, each labeled with a team and containing a single piece of Pup Corn, Cooper and Izzy will make their picks week to week and attempt to prove they know more than someone who's job is to stay informed about football.
For week one, at least, dogs stick together. Underdogs ruled the picking landscape, as the pups took chances on teams like Oakland, Jacksonville and Buffalo. Notably, both did pick the Detroit Lions to win their home opener.
Pooch's Picks, Week 1:
New England at Buffalo: Despite being favored by nearly two touchdowns, both dogs sniff out Buffalo to win at home. The expert, though, isn't quite that brash. C: Buffalo, I: Buffalo, Max: New England
Cincinnati at Chicago: Chicago's favored by four at home, but apparently that only matters to Izzy, who selects them. The rest of us like the Bengals to make an opening statement on the road. C: Cincinnati, I: Chicago, Max: Cincinnati
Miami at Cleveland: Nobody's buying the hype surrounding the improved Browns. Somewhat surprisingly, the dogs pick against the dog pound. It's a clean sweep with the Dolphins. C: Miami, I: Miami, Max: Miami
*Minnesota at Detroit: Being surrounded by plenty of Lions information constantly, it suddenly becomes evident that these dogs do listen, even if they refuse to come in when called or stop digging when prompted. Each pick the Lions to make an opening statement at home, no doubt stealing the sage's advice. C: Lions, I: Lions, Max: Lions
Oakland at Indianapolis: Cooper goes out on a limb and takes a chance on the Raiders. He'd be the only one in America. Literally. C: Oakland, I: Indianapolis, Max: Indianapolis
Atlanta at New Orleans: Cooper likes the home team. Surprisingly, Izzy decides against going with her bloodlines (Gumbo, New Orleans' mascot is a Saint Bernard) and takes the Falcons. She made a mistake. C: New Orleans, I: Atlanta, Max: New Orleans
Tampa Bay at New York Jets: Even dogs know the impending mess of the Jets. Both manage to stay away from that upset, picking the Buccaneers to win. Good dogs. C: Tampa Bay, I: Tampa Bay, Max: Tampa Bay
Tennessee at Pittsburgh: The home team gets the majority of the love, but Izzy believes in Chris Johnson and Jake Locker. C: Pittsburgh, I: Tennessee, Max: Pittsburgh
Seattle at Carolina: Dogs like birds, at least in this isolated case. Seattle's the pick. C: Seattle, I: Seattle, Max: Seattle
Kansas City at Jacksonville: Cooper, surprisingly, likes the cats. Izzy goes with the Chiefs. The tie is broken with a second vote for Kansas City. C: Jacksonville, I: Kansas City, Max: Kansas City
Arizona at St. Louis: Another split vote between the dogs. St. Louis has too many weapons, though. C: Arizona, I: St. Louis, Max: St. Louis
Green Bay at San Francisco: Cooper goes with the home team, while Izzy rolls the dice on the loser of last season's playoff match up. Home field is huge in this series, however, making Cooper correct. C: San Francisco, I: Green Bay, Max: San Francisco
New York Giants at Dallas: Sunday Night Football is back, and only Izzy is aware of the recent Giants' dominance of the Cowboys in Texas. She's a smart girl. C: Dallas, I: Giants, Max: Giants
Philadelphia at Washington (Monday night): Chip Kelly's fast paced offense is popular with the pups. Each pick the Eagles to win. Here's where the human gets his opening. C: Philadelphia, I: Philadelphia, Max: Washington
Houston at San Diego (Monday night): Pick weary, the dogs make their final selection, and it's another split vote. Izzy goes with the upset again, but Cooper picks the Texans. Houston's a solid pick. C: Houston, I: San Diego, Max: Houston
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